Life update.

I can’t even remember the last time that I posted something in here. But I am alive and kicking, I can tell you that. I have just been so busy with review that I never really had the time to update my blog. So here is a quick update about my whereabouts and whatnot:

GRADUATION (1 of 1)

  1. I finally graduated! Your girl just earned her degree in Bachelor of Science in Physical Therapy. Hence, I am currently reviewing for the August board exams at Gold Rank Review Centre here in Cebu. There’s been a wave of exams but it isn’t all bad. The lecturers are good at their job and I applaud how well they discuss each topic without having a guide in hand.
  2. I didn’t really have a summer break nor did I travel to anywhere interesting. I did, however, go home for a few days to chill. Disclaimer: All I really did was drink and sleep late but I have no regrets on that.
  3. I did transfer to a new apartment! I bid our two-bedroom apartment (I used to share it with my brother) goodbye along with all of the great memories. I’m honestly gonna miss inviting people over to drink.
  4. I’m gonna be on HIATUS. Yes, I can’t juggle writing articles/blog posts and studying for the boards. My top priority right now is to get that four letter word (PTRP) at the end of my name and I want to achieve that with flying colours! So wish me luck guys and hopefully in August, I’ll be a licensed Physical Therapist.
  5. I guess there isn’t that much to update about my life. Should “I met a guy” be an update too? Hahaha but yeah, your girl is just happy right now. The best is yet to come! And I will be writing again once shit is over and I am free to roam the streets of London soon!

With love always,

Beyscapades

Advertisements

Part Two

I wish I wasn’t afraid to die

“I’m not afraid of death.
I blurted out
And I watched as his eyes widened
“I mean, I feel like I can die tomorrow
And be fine with it
He still didn’t say anything
I tried easing him into it
Talked to him about the thoughts
That have been barging in
No, i don’t want to die
But i’m not afraid to die
I made a lot of mistakes
I went through slopes and hills
I fell, I conquered– those bullshit
I loved and got heartbroken
But that’s life isn’t it?
It’s not like I was really giving up
But I think I’ve just had enough
Of the happiness and the laughter
And the dramas here and there
He shook his head
Trying to relax the muscles on his jaw
Clearly thinking I could be crazy
Thinking this girl across from him needed a shrink and not her junior
But he gave his thoughts, his mottos
And words he’d lived by and whatnot
He was religious, you can feel his faith
But I’m too stubborn, too indecisive
It wasn’t gonna be an argument
He didn’t even looked the part
So I went on and on
My mouth never ever shutting
But that pencil case caught the corner of my eye and broke the ice like a nutcracker
And I… paused

Skincare routine!

IMG_7696

I know I don’t have the most perfect skin in the world but I have been there! I have been the victim of millions of pimples colonising my face. Okay, maybe not millions but pimples really do sprout here and there and everywhere especially when I was a third year college student fighting for my life for a degree in Physical Therapy.  My face had its ups and downs but that didn’t stop me from looking for products that would really change my skincare game. I have learned that less is more. As you can see I don’t do a Korean Skincare routine or whatever. I realised you just don’t overdo things because it’s only going to make it worse. Trust me! I learned that the hard way.

Continue reading “Skincare routine!”

I don’t have to feel sorry.

I’m always going to be too much for people.

Too much to handle, too much to care for, too much to long for

I have baggage, I am heavy, I have all of these fucked up thoughts in my head

I have this sense of bipolar-ness in me that no one could understand

I can love you in a second and hate you by the time the minute is up

I can scribble your name over and over again

wishing for things to finally go as planned but I still find myself being scared

and I scurry and I run because that is what I am good at

I am good at leaving even when I didn’t really stay

I am good at pretending that I can be okay when I know I can’t

when I know I will fight the urge to feel sad yet long for it anyway

I am too much for people

I am too much for myself

I always want to impress those who couldn’t

I always want to be part of the crowd when I can’t

I’m too much, all at the same time

But maybe I don’t have to say sorry

Maybe I don’t have to feel bad or guilty or sad

maybe it’s okay to be like this because I always give my 110 percent

when others can’t even give atleast 1

Maybe it’s okay to chase after infinite things

it’s okay to fight and not fight for someone or something

Maybe it’s okay to be me

Because if people really love and care for you

They’d know you’re not too much

You’re just… okay

International Day of Happiness!

Processed with VSCO with hb2 preset
May 2016. Rome, Italy. Copyright.

I am always writing about sappy and sad emotions and whatnot. But since today is International Day of Happiness, I decided why not write about the things that make me happy. Note: I wrote this down while I was visiting this hospital that I intern at last May-June while waiting for one of my closest staff. This list is not everything of course.

Just Some Of The Little Things That Make Me Happy:

1. Tagging/mentioning me in posts on Facebook and Instagram.
2. Finally getting a great photo after multiple shots.
3. No more duty! (yaaaas finally!)
4. When my crush views my instatory.
5. Sundates. *wink wink
6. Saturday drinking nights with people that I love to be with.
7. When he texts first. *appreciated*
8. Watching Youtube videos.
9. Talking to my loved ones from different parts of the world.
10. Drinking at least 3 cups of tea per day! (not less than please)
11. Writing good poetry.
12. Publishing a blog post.
13. Finding the right pair of socks!
14. Pinning my nameplate on top of the embroidered CDU PT-INTERN on my scrubs.
15. Having time for myself; to think, to write, to be me.

I shouldn’t write just because I’m sad.

DSC00471
June 2017. Ormoc Airport. Unedited.

Hi guys! I’ve been idle, I know. For the past week I’ve been serving my extensions at Camp Lapu-Lapu (it’s a military camp hospital). I just haven’t been writing because I don’t really know what to write about. But here’s a quick update again, so you guys know that I am alive and breathing and most importantly… happy despite all odds.

Continue reading “I shouldn’t write just because I’m sad.”

Walls unbroken.


He’s lucky, you know
I chase after him even if I don’t chase people any longer
When I stopped fighting for those who wouldn’t fight for me
When I told myself I’d never ever go for the uncertainty again
Yet here I am, I’m allowing myself to break those principles
Wanting to keep him here
Between two thin lines of our friendship
Both of us pretending we don’t know what I feel about him
And I guess this has to end
It has to end somehow
I have to distance myself from all of this
Before I start crashing again
I have to stop longing for his presence
And the comfort he brings
I have to let him go before it breaks my heart to do so

#4

I don’t miss you anymore
Not your smile, not your laugh
Not the late night talks
And the secrecy
I don’t miss hw we stare
At the open sea
At the moon that glimmers
On the surface
I don’t miss the stars
Watching over
Two lost souls
Parked too close to the edge
It lingers for one last touch
One last kiss
On and on and on
This went on
For months, for days
Why did I even stay?
When I should have left
Right from the beginning
When I should have known
I’d fall and shatter
I don’t miss the way
You made me feel unloved
And loved at the same time
I confused bullshit
From the truth
I don’t miss the words
That come out o your mouth
The reassurance that
You’d never leave
The way they did
I don’t miss the way
I loved you
We’re better off
I’m better off
She’s better off
That I don’t miss
you any longer.

Quick Life Update!

IMG_3159.JPG
Est. 2016 at Olango Island, Cebu, Ph.

 

Hi there. It’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been sick lately and I haven’t had the chance to come up with a new post but alas, I think I owe my WordPress and my Crazy Lazy Travels, Baby followers an update. So here it is in numerical form:

Continue reading “Quick Life Update!”