I don’t write poems anymore.

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Not for the guy I met in April
With the sideburns and a smile
I was naïve, it was exciting
To have locked unto his eyes
He was smart, he was charming
But he was blunt to my demise
and in the end, it really was nothing
but a girl’s first crush in a while

And in May it was quick
I didn’t plan to meet another
With fair skin and rosy cheeks
It was a night I can’t remember
We were happy, we were drunk
It was a mix of smoke and drinks
With yelling here and yelling everywhere
Telling us to share a kiss
But it was nothing but a night
Where he held my hand and I held his
And four of us were hunched up in the backseat
All the emotions were a miss

And in June it was different
I didn’t even see it coming
A guy who’s lean and muscular
With a jawline that was stunning
Though he was nice, he was shy
I didn’t know what we were becoming
But in the end he still did leave
Without a notice, he was cunning
No goodbyes, no last replies
It was getting quite alarming
But I didn’t let it seep through my skin
Cause I didn’t want him to win

In July, I thought I’d learned
From last year’s troublesome mishap
Of a girl who built her walls
And saw it vanish with a crack
But here I was, just stupid and reckless
I tore it down and let this one snap
He was the boy-next-door we all liked
But it was another booby trap
It was a mistake to have had a crush
On a guy with a girlfriend for years
And maybe he was just really friendly
But I still ended up in tears
I didn’t cry because I couldn’t have him
I cried because of fear
Cause out of of all the guys I met
He was really an ideal

And in October he opened up
About his troubles and his worries
And what goes around his brain
Filled with nights that were blurry
Induced in alcohol & masks
We danced till we were exhausted
And he swooped me up in his arms
But it wasn’t what I wanted
From the beginning, you were trouble
I wasn’t looking for things that last
But you asked me all the questions
And I gave you a blissful chance
But in the end, it lasted short
10 days it took for us to part
I didn’t mind, it was another temporary thing
I always knew it from the start

And now here I am, looking back
At what I’ve done, at what went right and wrong
There were highs and there were lows
There were things that surely lack
Short of love, more of lust
It was six compressed in one
But no regrets, I think I’ve learned
An epic year it was
I guess I had fun

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