Part Two

I wish I wasn’t afraid to die

“I’m not afraid of death.
I blurted out
And I watched as his eyes widened
“I mean, I feel like I can die tomorrow
And be fine with it
He still didn’t say anything
I tried easing him into it
Talked to him about the thoughts
That have been barging in
No, i don’t want to die
But i’m not afraid to die
I made a lot of mistakes
I went through slopes and hills
I fell, I conquered– those bullshit
I loved and got heartbroken
But that’s life isn’t it?
It’s not like I was really giving up
But I think I’ve just had enough
Of the happiness and the laughter
And the dramas here and there
He shook his head
Trying to relax the muscles on his jaw
Clearly thinking I could be crazy
Thinking this girl across from him needed a shrink and not her junior
But he gave his thoughts, his mottos
And words he’d lived by and whatnot
He was religious, you can feel his faith
But I’m too stubborn, too indecisive
It wasn’t gonna be an argument
He didn’t even looked the part
So I went on and on
My mouth never ever shutting
But that pencil case caught the corner of my eye and broke the ice like a nutcracker
And I… paused

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