My name is Beafleur Elaina Cui and I am a first year Medicine student at Cebu Doctors’ University. After passing the Physical Therapy boards back in August 2018, I felt burnt out and lost. I didn’t want to proceed to Medschool, “just cause”. So for a year, I went on a journey of self-love and self discovery and I am so glad I did. Because now my soul and my heart is ready to conquer whatever challenges come my way.
Growing up from a family of doctors, I’ve always wanted to be just like them. Honestly, I wasn’t forced to study Medicine just because it was the family’s badge. I wanted to study Medicine because I want to be able to be a part of people’s journeys; I want to be there to guide them, give the appropriate medical advice & treatment and be their helping hand in their times of need. I think being a doctor embodies everything that I want to become as a person in the next five to ten years; responsible, caring, smart among others. And with that being said, I want to be a pediatric oncologist. Cancer runs in my blood and yes, it sucks to have the cancer gene. But what draws me to focus on pediatrics is my love for children and entertaining small beautiful humans all still full of hope and light. Cancer sucks no matter how old it hits you but for these babies; who’ve only just been in this Earth for a couple of years, who haven’t seen the worsts yet, to have this incurable disease is just deafening. I want to fight their battles with them and be an instrument of healing.
I think what I dream to achieve someday aligns with what my school, CDU-CM, visualizes for the future. I believe being in this institution would help be become a happy & well-rounded doctor bringing light to the kids that I will hopefully be treating in my plight to becoming a pediatric oncologist. I have not doubted CDU’s capabilities of honing an individual to be the best that they can be because even my parents– my role models– studied and graduated from this very university that I am enrolled in. Truly, CDU CARES.
Another day, another SGD.
Another chance for us to have a group picture! + we’re finally complete this time around.
If you guys didn’t know, SGD is short for Short Group Discussions. Instead of the traditional ratio of 1 lecturer:40-50 students, we are grouped into 10s & each of us have a facilitator that would assist us in our “discussions”. Our facilitator (a doctor), presents a case & we are given the chance to define terms, state the problems and make a hypothesis about what the case is all about.
It takes some getting used to, to be honest, because instead of just listening to one speaker, you listen to nine other opinions about the case, brainstorming causes and effects and whatnot. It’s been fun, so far, but we haven’t even tackled the difficult topics yet so we’ll have to see.
So here’s another picture of us! You guys are going to be seeing more of these people in my blogs & vlogs since they are my SGD groupmates for my entire first year in Medicine. Also, I did vlog today so there might be a “MedLife” vlog soon. We’ll have to see!
When I look at this picture, I can’t help but ask “Really? That fast?”
After I passed the board exam in August, I went on this journey of self-love. I wanted to have fun, explore the outdoors and go on countless adventures. What prompt me to go on this journey was not only for my wanderlust but also for my staggering mental health at that time. I was… not myself, I guess. I didn’t even know the exact reasons as to why I felt like 2018 was such a heavy load that all I ever did was cry and be disappointed. That despite graduating and passing the boards, I still felt empty. I didn’t know, maybe I was just tired of everything and I wanted to breathe.
To tell you the truth, I wasn’t forced to study Physical Therapy, it was my freewill, but after five years I just had a lot of what ifs, mostly about my other hobbies; hobbies which I pursued for the past couple of months. I love the arts as much as I loved to wallow in medical books (not even sarcastic). Poetry was definitely my niche at that time since they were short, concise but powerful in ways that could portray so many emotions in just one stanza. The more I got stuck in the paramedical life, the more I longed to do other things aside from it; photography, filmography, blogging and baking. So I asked if I could take a break before I proceed to another life-long commitment. Fortunately, my mom let me but of course It took a lot of rationalizing and reasoning out.
Medicine may be four years but it doesn’t stop there. After Med, there’s a post-graduate internship before you can even take the boards. After that you can either be a general practitioner or have your residency, in which most people do. And that, is another 4-6 years of your life. See?
Since I was a little, my path has been planned out. All my life I was surrounded by a bunch of doctors/people from the medical field. To be a doctor was the ultimate goal for my family (Lolas would remind you even). It honestly is still my dream but I guess before I dove into it, I just needed space to be creative. I wanted to keep myself sane and ready for the next chapter of my life and that is why I am here.
Two months left before this girl is back to studying her ass off for her dream.
How about you guys? How’s your dream?
My heart beams for the people who message me how much I have influenced them, through writing, vlogging or incorporating small ecofriendly habits to their routine. It warms my heart to know that I am not alone and that someone reads/watches the content that I have been putting out here on my blog and on my YouTube channel; that the time and effort that invest on it is somehow worth it.
I started this page two years ago for my poetries and my food recipes. Now, 6 months since reviving this page it has became a haven more than just for poetry and food but for travel and lifestyle as well. I don’t even post recipes here anymore though I think soon I would want to make smoothie bowls again if time permits. But I am overwhelmed by the (almost) 600 lovely and beautiful people that follow this blog. And even to the minute 68 subscribers on YouTube is more than enough for me to continue this passion that I have been pursuing for this so-called “gap year” that I am having.
Please know that I appreciate each and every one of you and I am excited to create more and more content for Crazy lazy travels, baby! In the months to come!
Follow me on instagram
@beyscuit / @beyscapades
Read my blog here
Subscribe to me on YouTube
I know when the sun sets
You’ll tell me you love me
When no one’s looking and what’s left is
Our bodies etched between what ifs and regrets
I know when you stare
Those eyes will haunt me till I sleep
When your touch has left marks everywhere
Like secrets we never can keep
I know when you smile
It’ll be too late for me to step back
It’s a whirlwind, it’s a blackhole
Itching past the blinds before they turn black
I know when the morning comes
We wouldn’t even speak
Who am I and who are you
We’re two people unlikely to meet
I know when you leave
I’d feel numb to my core
You were bad, you were good
And here we are wanting more
Doesn’t my friend look good?
I have been experimenting with Adobe Lightroom for quite a while now and no, not the mobile version. I have been using my Sony a6000 for my photos and videos. I bought it in 2017, when I traded my gopro Hero 4 for something more… mirrorless. I figured that the waterproof camera wasn’t meant for me and I bought this hybrid of a camera instead (it’s a crossover between a digital camera and a DSLR). I was gearing towards the a5100 at the time since it was cheaper but with a lack of a viewfinder, my heart beat towards the a6000 plus there were so many good reviews (watched a lot of YouTube comparisons) and recommendations (Thanks Kuya Leonel and Dylan).
I’m not the best at portraits. I never liked taking them but I guess we all go out of our comfort zones and try to explore something new once in a while. This was at Gateway in Cubao. We have just hopped off our Grab when I said, “Pose ka muna. Saglit lang” and my friend, Niel, did. We were both just laughing while he was trying his best to strike an angle that befit his personality when two of other friends quipped we had to go somewhere else. Despite it being brief, I think I managed to get a decent shot out of it.
I am a cool-tone kinda girl and I like editing in blues and pinks rather than the usual teal and orange that everybody has been putting out lately. Though I have no hate towards the masses because I know that everyone has their own unique taste, I just like the Brandon Woelfel vibes better and it kinda suits my personality as well.
Check out my Instagram if you haven’t already
I spent seven incredible days in Siargao just this month of September and as a foodie, I know I can never leave Siargao without going to restos/cafés and munching down on whatever it is that the establishment has to offer.
Heads up, if you are going to Siargao, the price of the food is quite pricey. A lot of places offer food that starts at around PHP 200 to as much as PHP 500-PHP 1000 depending on what you are ordering. My tip is to book a hostel/homestay with a kitchen so in that way you can cook your own meals and not spend PHP 200 every time you eat breakfast, lunch or dinner and just decide on which days you want to splurge and eat out. In our case, out of the seven days, we probably splurged on one meal per day and the rest of the meals we had at the homestay where we were staying at.
Note: Some of the things I’m gonna list below, I don’t have a flatly to show just because we went there at night and the lighting is not that great so I might just insert their link or their Instagram.
Continue reading “What and where I ate in Siargao.”
Yesterday, my former classmate and I went to visit our teacher in elementary school. And to those curious, I went to EVIMS (Eastern Visayas International Montessori School) from Grade 4 to Grade 6.
It’s been a while since we all sat down and talked. Teacher Ronilo has been teaching for 11 years and here we were, surprising him just days after his birthday. We bought him cake and went in the highscool he was teaching at, clueless as to whether or not he was there to entertain us. He wasn’t even our adviser, but when I was younger, I considered him as a great mentor nevertheless plus he was our after-class tutor.
He taught us social science, if I remember it correctly and he would always scold me for being so loud and talkative. I never ran out of things to say so I guess he was quite amused when I didn’t talk much yesterday. “Dati, sa gate palang, naririnig ko na boses mo” he quipped and we all laughed because it was true. But I guess it comes with maturity, when you stop being too loud for everybody’s sake. I honestly still feel like I talk a lot but not as loud as I used to be… though still
We spent a couple of hours exchanging banters and whatnot and it was a solid good day. Ten years ago, we were just little kids in EVIMS running around in our socks and here we are today, all grown up, exactly the same age as him when he handled our class in Grade 6, experiencing life and its heartbreaks among all others. Who would have thought that we would grow up too fast? I certainly didn’t.
Tagging Jarvis, Kurt, Xox, Jane and JP.
I miss you my grade 6 crew.
Follow me on Instagram
@beyscapades / @beyscuit