Yesterday I was at the hospital to have my blood extracted and I was sitting next to this little girl, around 6 years old, which I assumed had cancer with her bloated stomach, bald head and a mask around her face. She was going to have her labs checked as well and the MedTech was going on about her WBCs (which further confirmed my suspicion that she may have cancer).
The little girl looked so happy still, she didn’t even cry when she went inside and got her blood extracted. She was smiling despite everything. And looking at this cute little girl, she reminded me about how much I wanted to be a pediatric oncologist back when I was still studying my pre-med.
I remember during my interview with the Dean of the College of Medicine, he asked me what specialty I was veering towards since I didn’t write it down on the short essay on my med application. I told him I wasn’t sure yet but I might take up a Masters in Hospital Administration. Having said that, he asked me again what specialty I had in mind aside from taking up a masters.
“Endocrinology” I quipped, “…or Oncology” I continued. I don’t really like telling people how much I want to be an Oncologist because most would tell me that my heart is too weak for it; I would only cry every time I lose a patient to cancer. But you know what, I don’t care because I want to be part of their journey. I want to be there for these people suffering from this incurable disease.
I have lost someone to cancer; five relatives have come and gone. I know what it feels like to have a family member going through all of it. It’s sad, it’s crazy, it’s deafening. But something about being an Oncologist, a Pediatric one to be exact, has me daydreaming and wanting to be a doctor more than I ever did before.
Hey, it still might change. I’m still a first year and first years have so much hope for the future. We’ll really just have to wait and see!
PS. Picture is so unrelated to my sentiments but I really don’t know what to put 😂
When I look at this picture, I can’t help but ask “Really? That fast?”
After I passed the board exam in August, I went on this journey of self-love. I wanted to have fun, explore the outdoors and go on countless adventures. What prompt me to go on this journey was not only for my wanderlust but also for my staggering mental health at that time. I was… not myself, I guess. I didn’t even know the exact reasons as to why I felt like 2018 was such a heavy load that all I ever did was cry and be disappointed. That despite graduating and passing the boards, I still felt empty. I didn’t know, maybe I was just tired of everything and I wanted to breathe.
To tell you the truth, I wasn’t forced to study Physical Therapy, it was my freewill, but after five years I just had a lot of what ifs, mostly about my other hobbies; hobbies which I pursued for the past couple of months. I love the arts as much as I loved to wallow in medical books (not even sarcastic). Poetry was definitely my niche at that time since they were short, concise but powerful in ways that could portray so many emotions in just one stanza. The more I got stuck in the paramedical life, the more I longed to do other things aside from it; photography, filmography, blogging and baking. So I asked if I could take a break before I proceed to another life-long commitment. Fortunately, my mom let me but of course It took a lot of rationalizing and reasoning out.
Medicine may be four years but it doesn’t stop there. After Med, there’s a post-graduate internship before you can even take the boards. After that you can either be a general practitioner or have your residency, in which most people do. And that, is another 4-6 years of your life. See?
Since I was a little, my path has been planned out. All my life I was surrounded by a bunch of doctors/people from the medical field. To be a doctor was the ultimate goal for my family (Lolas would remind you even). It honestly is still my dream but I guess before I dove into it, I just needed space to be creative. I wanted to keep myself sane and ready for the next chapter of my life and that is why I am here.
Two months left before this girl is back to studying her ass off for her dream.
I knew I was not getting into just a coffee binge when I visited my friend Nico’s coffee shop in Ormoc City. I was quite hungover from the night before since I went out drinking with my friends and I was running on just 3 hours of sleep when I went aboard Ocean Jet for my three hour trip. As the boat docked and I got down, my stomach started rumbling, time check: it was 10am and I need to eat asap. It was quite hard to find a tricycle that knew where Unit 1A was, and I tried my best to explain the directions as instructed by my friend.
The café had glass walls and an eco-friendly feel to it. I went inside and settled in the corner facing the road. I ordered Nico’s recommendations, Kimchi Fried Rice and wait for it… Espresso Martini. I honestly was reading it when I just realized that Martini meant it had alcohol as an ingredient. But I guess, I’m really the adventurous type, because even if I could still feel the Jim Bean that I drank the night before gurgling in my stomach, I ordered it… with a shot of Patron (Tequila). Wow, I know. That’s one hell of an alcoholic beverage.
As soon as that espresso martini arrived at my table, I could smell the strong aroma of alcohol. Should I still drink it? I asked myself trying to weigh the pros and cons. But I paid 190 pesos for my coffee, I should definitely take a sip, at least. As soon as the liquid went down my throat I could feel my brain buzz, phew! You know what it tastes like? ALCOHOL! With a bit of coffee. Think of Bailey’s but with a lot more kick to it. Imagine drinking this one for brunch and venturing on a six-hour van ride home to Eastern Samar.
As the fried rice was served, I hoped that it would managed my current digestive system situation. And thank goodness, that Kimchi Fried Rice was divine which one should definitely try at Unit1A. It was a mass of orange-ish colored rice, some veggies and pork cutlets topped with a sunny side up all wrapped in savory and salty goodness. It was a perfect brunch on a bright mid morning in Ormoc City. As I chowed down and thought of the ways that I could further gulp that half-finished espresso martini smiling at me at the side of my main course, I could actually feel the alcohol settle in and let the coffee take over. My mood suddenly changed from this day-drinking lady who probably didn’t have anything else going on with her life to this person who is ready to conquer the world and whatnot. It was much like an encounter with Jager and Redbull but this time around I could remember everything.
After I finished eating, I made sure I savored my first time at Unit1A… like staying for their fast internet connection (haha). But the cool and minimalistic vibe that Nico had on his café was definitely hangout worthy.
So go check out Unit 1A when you happen to be in Ormoc City! Plus, I just tried their COLD BREW and it was the best one, so far!
PS. Unit1A’s Espresso Martini is vodka-based but the owner (Nico) gave me a shot of Patron instead lol
PPS. Nico’s cold brew is also available at Quality Bread Bakeshop and Cafen at Primark Tacloban! So if you don’t want to travel 2 hours to Ormoc, Primark has it for you and its just as good!
My heart beams for the people who message me how much I have influenced them, through writing, vlogging or incorporating small ecofriendly habits to their routine. It warms my heart to know that I am not alone and that someone reads/watches the content that I have been putting out here on my blog and on my YouTube channel; that the time and effort that invest on it is somehow worth it.
I started this page two years ago for my poetries and my food recipes. Now, 6 months since reviving this page it has became a haven more than just for poetry and food but for travel and lifestyle as well. I don’t even post recipes here anymore though I think soon I would want to make smoothie bowls again if time permits. But I am overwhelmed by the (almost) 600 lovely and beautiful people that follow this blog. And even to the minute 68 subscribers on YouTube is more than enough for me to continue this passion that I have been pursuing for this so-called “gap year” that I am having.
Please know that I appreciate each and every one of you and I am excited to create more and more content for Crazy lazy travels, baby! In the months to come!
I wanted to post something more personal but I couldn’t find the article that I was writing yesterday.
I guess these past three months have been months of self-love, self-exploration and self-growth. I learned so much about myself and about the dilemmas that I have been dealing with repeatedly. But now I am slowly realizing all of these bad and toxic traits plus the toxic people who were in my life and I am working on being a better version of myself.
Peeking through is still the girl who loved everyone too much she forgot to love herself though now she’s trying to understand that she doesn’t need validation from others to know her worth.
I am looking forward to better months ahead. I know 2019 will be filled with a lot of opportunities to grow more and be more especially when I enter another chapter of schooling this August.
I am indeed overwhelmed be everything that has happened so far and I regret nothing that has happened in the past because I believe that those bitter(and not so bitter) circumstances are what brought me here today.
I like working with and being surrounded by content creators.
Hey guys, I have been busy being here and there and everywhere and I am so excited for the videos and the blog posts that will be coming out soon as soon as I finish editing them. I am so grateful to be creating content and I will surely miss it when I go on a hiatus on August.
A few days ago, my friend Janel (@janeylalala, @shuttersmileback) and I went to Hilangagan Beach here in Borongan City, Eastern Samar and I invited my friend Alren (@alrenberonio) to come and film with us.
I spent five days with my grandmothers in Manila last November and the experience will definitely test your patience in every aspect possible.
I was raised by my grandmothers for half of my life. My parents were busy being doctors and making sure that they could provide for me and my brother so most of the time, I would cling to one of my Lolas- Maping. She died last year due to the complications of stroke (she was 91). When she died, I still had two amazing women both which success has surpassed them. One, an elementary teacher and the other, a superintendent. My bond with them was not as strong as my bond with Maping, but these two still hold a warm place in my heart.
They were complete opposites in terms of personalities and hobbies, one would love to cook and fill up the room with the best aromas and the other would love to garden and fill the yards with the most vibrant flowers. One was stern, quick, a definition of a strong and independent woman and the other was fragile, meek, the depiction of a Maria Clara.
Having both of them in my arms while walking around the streets of Manila (divisoria included), you can’t stop but wonder what will our own life be like when we reach the age of 80, 70, 60 even. These strong and independent women have lived their lives, have gone through so much, have seen their friends and family come and go and despite their age of 86 and 89, they’re still trying to live day by day with the best of their enthusiasm.
These women are just two of the women who I look up to. And as timely as it is, Happy International Women’s Day to all of the amazing women who has helped shaped the individuals that we are today.
I thought when I learned how to choose, he’d choose me back. But things just don’t go as expected. Hollow– I tried to push the thought away. I didn’t want to be unhappy. There were so many wonderful things going on in my life at that time and just when I thought he’d be the year-ender plot twist, he wasn’t. Maybe I didn’t think all of this through or maybe I had known it all along and I just wanted to hear him say that he couldn’t be with me.
For months we have bonded over 30 minute dinner outs to overnight tagay sessions and I didn’t notice that this go-with-flow easy-to-be-with person would have a sappy depressed side that I would cling to. I thought we understood each other on a certain level but I guess it was all in my head. Because there I was, asking you if you would date me and you said “No”. I accepted it right then and there but you quipped, “That was a made up answer because you are being weird right now.” I wasn’t being weird. YOU were being weird. I have confessed the certain liking that I was developing and there you were telling me that I was fooling around. I don’t fool around like you do and you knew that. But I know you’re a coward and you’re too broken from the past to commit.
And I guess that was one of the things why I liked you.
Yesterday, my former classmate and I went to visit our teacher in elementary school. And to those curious, I went to EVIMS (Eastern Visayas International Montessori School) from Grade 4 to Grade 6.
It’s been a while since we all sat down and talked. Teacher Ronilo has been teaching for 11 years and here we were, surprising him just days after his birthday. We bought him cake and went in the highscool he was teaching at, clueless as to whether or not he was there to entertain us. He wasn’t even our adviser, but when I was younger, I considered him as a great mentor nevertheless plus he was our after-class tutor.
He taught us social science, if I remember it correctly and he would always scold me for being so loud and talkative. I never ran out of things to say so I guess he was quite amused when I didn’t talk much yesterday. “Dati, sa gate palang, naririnig ko na boses mo” he quipped and we all laughed because it was true. But I guess it comes with maturity, when you stop being too loud for everybody’s sake. I honestly still feel like I talk a lot but not as loud as I used to be… though still
We spent a couple of hours exchanging banters and whatnot and it was a solid good day. Ten years ago, we were just little kids in EVIMS running around in our socks and here we are today, all grown up, exactly the same age as him when he handled our class in Grade 6, experiencing life and its heartbreaks among all others. Who would have thought that we would grow up too fast? I certainly didn’t.
Tagging Jarvis, Kurt, Xox, Jane and JP.
I miss you my grade 6 crew.